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Study: How Long Does It Take to Meet ‘The One’?

Yoni Cohen

21.02.2024

Navigating the world of dating is no simple task. Amidst shared meals, movie nights, and casual drinks with various potential partners, many of us long for the fast-forward button to finally encounter ‘the one’. But what’s the average duration before individuals meet their lifelong companion? From enduring relationships with the ‘wrong ones’ to the countless dates it takes to feel that undeniable connection.

Furthermore, besides the investment of time and the potential heartache, expenses can escalate rapidly. Ever pondered the actual cost people bear before discovering ‘the one’?

Fortunately, our latest research delves into this very inquiry. No longer must you speculate, as we’ve uncovered the answers to each of these queries.

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Interested to know how long it takes people to meet and know they’re that they’re, well, ‘the one?’ Read on. 

Our Approach

We reached out to married couples throughout the United Kingdom, gathering insights into their previous serious relationships before finding their life partners. Additionally, we delved into the number of dates they embarked on before experiencing that “aha” moment of realizing they had discovered their soulmate.

Following this, we juxtaposed the average number of dates needed for both men and women to ascertain their perfect match with the expenses incurred during a date night in various cities across the United Kingdom. This enabled us to approximate the financial commitment required to identify that special someone.

Our assessment of the cost of a date night encompasses four fundamental components: dining out, movie tickets, transportation via ride-hailing services, and indulging in alcoholic beverages. The ride-hailing costs were derived from published rates by Uber for each city, coupled with the average duration of a typical trip. Dining expenses, cinema tickets, and drink prices were sourced from Expatisan’s comprehensive database on the cost of living.

Discovering ‘The One’: A Comparison Between Men and Women

Initially, we inquired about the number of significant relationships among married individuals before encountering their eventual life partners. Remarkably, there was a close resemblance in responses between genders, with women averaging 2.46 relationships and men averaging 2.51.

Upon embarking on relationships with their current committed partners, the journey to realizing they had found ‘the one’ differed slightly. On average, women required 4.66 dates to reach this realization, while men took an average of 5 dates.


Below presents a more detailed breakdown of the findings for both men and women regarding the aforementioned inquiries. Interestingly, some outcomes caught us off guard:

  • For over 10% of men and 15% of women surveyed, the realization that they had met ‘the one’ occurred after just one date. This phenomenon certainly validates the timeless adage, “when you know, you know.”
  • Additionally, nearly 1 in 10 men and women embarked on 10 dates with their partners before recognizing them as their ideal match. Numerous anecdotes recount couples with enduring marriages who initially harbored doubts. It underscores the notion that lasting love can evolve gradually, even in the absence of instant sparks on the inaugural date.

Estimating the Expenses of Finding ‘The One’ for Men and Women

Beyond the considerable time investment and emotional toll, the pursuit of the perfect partner also comes with a hefty price tag. We projected the anticipated cost of discovering ‘the one’ in various cities across the United Kingdom by aligning the average number of dates required for both men and women to recognize their soulmate with the typical cost of a date in each locale.

Did you realize that, in certain cities, singles may shell out over £1,000 or more on dates before confirming they’ve found ‘the one’? It’s indeed the case.

Broadly speaking, if you hail from London, Manchester, Edinburgh, or Birmingham, anticipate higher expenses compared to the rest of the nation while discerning the authenticity of that special connection. To put it simply, if you reside in one of these cities and haven’t encountered your soulmate yet, it might be prudent to commence saving, as a substantial dating budget will likely be necessary to navigate your single years.

Conversely, cities like Glasgow, Liverpool, Cardiff, and Belfast offer a more budget-friendly approach to exploring your soulmate. In these locales, you can anticipate spending less than £750, which, while still considerable, represents a more economical option compared to dating expenditures in other regions of the country.

An intriguing discovery emerged from our research: men typically incur slightly higher expenses than women on their journey to encounter ‘the one.’ This discrepancy arises from the fact that men, on average, require 5 dates with ‘the one’ to ascertain compatibility, whereas women typically reach this realization after 4.66 dates.

In metropolitan hubs like London, Manchester, and Edinburgh, where the cost of dating can be significant, men anticipate spending £570, £548, and £523, respectively, on dates with ‘the one’ before confirming their ideal match. Conversely, women in these cities tend to expend slightly less: £530 (London), £510 (Manchester), and £496 (Edinburgh).

While London maintains its status as one of the most expensive cities for date nights nationwide, Birmingham stands out as a more budget-friendly option. In Birmingham, both men and women can expect to allocate significantly less funds as they navigate the path to discovering ‘the one.’

Feeling inspired by all this talk of dating? Great news! We’ve compiled a curated list of the top dating platforms for 2024 just for you. Here’s to finding your perfect match!

Yoni Cohen is a contributing writer for Top10.com. Yoni started out in journalism as a breaking news editor, but soon moved on to become a senior lifestyle editor and has 10+ years of experience in creating content on topics that really matter to people.
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